I remember the first time I came to my support group. As I told my story, I looked at the other women there. “I don’t belong here,” I thought, “I’m not like them. These words aren’t really coming out of my mouth. This isn’t real.” It was only a month since the discovery. At that … Continue reading The Gift of Brokenness

Remember “The Truman Show” (1998 movie with Jim Carrey)? It was about a boy, Truman Burbank, who was raised on the set of a T.V. show. He lived in a 1950s utopia, but none of it was real. Everyone he interacted with – the people he thought were his parents, wife, children, friends, co-workers, and … Continue reading The Truman Show: How It Feels to Discover Your Spouse Is Cheating

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, you are precious to me. You … Continue reading Music for Surviving Adultery: Part 1

Jesus is my only husband now. This is not some pretty cliché. It's real. He's stood by me through all this mess and He's right here with me now. And now that it's just him and me, I want to pursue my relationship with him more than ever before. Here are some things Jesus has … Continue reading Three Ways Being Married to Jesus is Different from Being Married to Any Other Man … And One Way it’s the Same.

Divorced. That's what I will soon be. I have been separated for more than two years now. I was willing to stay separated for as long as it took - until I either saw the true fruit of repentance and truly believed I could trust my husband again, or until I knew he was still … Continue reading Back to Blogging!! – with a New Name – and a New Marital Status

I’ve been separated from the man I married for a little over a year now. I still see him regularly. Sometimes just briefly to hand off the kids or discuss some logistics. Other times it’s longer - a school event or birthday party. Every time I see him, it’s like ripping a band-aid off my … Continue reading Band-Aid on My Heart: Why It’s so Hard to See My Ex, Even Though We Don’t Fight.

“You know, everyone carries around secrets like this,” the Christian Counselor enlightened me … “And, you know, pretty much all men do this.” “Jesus didn’t.” She actually brightened, “Oh, but Paul [The Apostle] did!” “What??!!” “Yes, don’t you know, Paul was probably a sex addict.” “What??!!” “Yes, he said he had a thorn in his … Continue reading Counseling Lie Exposed: Paul was NOT a Sex Addict.

“I’m feeling a lot of shame.” I was sitting in the office of a Christian counselor, in the aftermath of discovering my husband’s adultery. She had asked me to describe my feelings. “You mean humiliation?” “No, I mean shame.” I wondered if the counselor knew the meaning of shame, but I didn’t want to offend … Continue reading Shame: Breaking the Silence