My Husband/Wife Cheated on Me. Did God Make This Happen?

Sad woman cryingIf you have found this post because your spouse cheated on you, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for what you are going through. You don’t deserve this. This isn’t your fault.

If you are a Believer, you may be wondering how God could have let this happen.

There are two truths you must cling to now like your life depends on it:

1. God did not want this to happen to you.

2. But God will not take away your spouse’s free will.

1. God did not want this to happen to you.

This is not punishment for anything you did wrong.

Nor did God cause this to happen in order to bring some good out of it (though He can bring good out of it).

God did not choose for this to happen to you.

God did not make this to happen to you.

God did not want this to happen to you.

In fact, He is mad as hell that this was done to you.

Do you remember what Jesus did when He found money changers taking advantage of people in His Temple? He ran them out with a whip! When his disciples saw this, they remembered this prophesy about the Messiah:

“for zeal for your house consumes me,
and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.” Psalm 69:9 (NIV)

Jesus Clears the Temple

If Jesus felt this way about the temple building, how much more does He feel this way about you, Child of God!

Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are. (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)

That’s right, YOU are His Temple. And He stands ready to defend you just as He did the Temple in Jerusalem .

He is probably madder than you are right now. Many victims of adultery have trouble getting mad. Especially if they have been raised in a religious tradition that frowns on anger. Or if they are wondering if they have a part in the guilt.

God doesn’t have that problem. He sees clearly what happened. And He is enraged.

Before I moved to India, someone had a prophetic word for me. She said, “God wants you to know that He feels for you like a father. But not just any father, like a red-neck daddy with a shotgun, standing on the front porch!”

redneck rage sniper


That’s a vivid image for someone from my cultural background. We all know that “red-neck daddy” will defend his daughter at all costs, without regard even for the laws of man.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone like that on your side?

Well, Believer, you do!

Think of Jesus standing on the front steps of the Temple, whip in hand. He would defend His Temple at any cost, without regard for the civil or religious authorities.

Daddy-shotgun-porch. Jesus-whip-temple.

It’s the same picture! That word God sent me was a picture from scripture – shifted to my cultural context – so I could understand how He feels for His children – and share with others.

It’s not an image just for me.  It’s a word picture that can help us all understand God’s zeal for us.

His Zeal. He said He has zeal for His temple. You wouldn’t want to cross a zealot, just like you wouldn’t want to cross that Red-Neck-Daddy.

And He says YOU are His Temple.

And He will defend you. (1 Corinthians 3:17)

He feels for you like He feels about the temple.

Like a father feels for his daughter …

“but not just any father …”

If you have read my previous posts, you know I believe adultery is rape.

In her book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters,” Dr. Meg Meeker writes that when a young woman is raped, her father’s reaction is the single most crucial juncture for her recovery. Seeing her father get angry at what was done to her is critical for her recovery. On the other hand, if her father shrugs it off, excuses the perpetrator, or blames her, that’s detrimental to her recovery.

Beloved, what has been done to you is rape. You have been violated in the most intimate of ways.

And your heavenly father is mad as hell about what has been done to you.

Remember that.

That’s enough for one post. I will cover the second truth in my next post. Stay tuned …

Copyright 2019 Rebecca Nazzer. All Rights Reserved.

One thought on “My Husband/Wife Cheated on Me. Did God Make This Happen?

  1. Thank you for your blog especially the articles on adultery. I recently discovered my husband of 4 years (we’ve been together a total of 8 years) have been having a 4 month long affair. It has been devastating and extremely heartbreaking for me. We are now in the process of separating and talking with our lawyers on property division. Your articles have helped me see that it’s not my fault (even though he says I never showed enough “appreciation”, “love” etc), and that God is angry about it (my first reaction upon discovery was “why God? why did you let it happen to me?”). The loss and grief I feel is beyond words. I had hoped to have a baby with him and had been trying throughout the time we’ve been married. Now those dreams of becoming a mother are gone. My only hope and comfort now is God, and your articles have also given me a lot of comfort.

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